I doubt that anything except perhaps the Magna Carta or the Universal Declaration of Human Rights could improve upon this background, but like a typical dumb human I doubt that will stop me.
This is a picture of where I live- (with human muppet i.e me in attendance...)
And just to set the scene a little, the picture is the reason why I'd like to be self employed- so that I can stay here and write and not have to go and live in dingy old London and be a wage slave*sigh* but it's challenging getting a half decent graduate job anywhere at the moment, and in Cornwall the endeavor seems to resemble a project called "Grow your own Stalagmite in 3 easy steps"...
Which would be, coincidentally, just in case anyone is so awesome as to be wondering right now-
1) Acquire a relatively dry cave in a dampish country fully equipped with gravity, preferably with a very long lease, and preferably made of porous rock to encourage capillary action.
2) Wait anxiously beside said cave for approximately 136 000 years (if you're aiming for a good big one, nine inches or so) with a big stick to beat pot-holers with so they don't mess with your Stalagmites. Of course natural human lifespan would make this a bit tricky, but cultivate a "can-do attitude" and you can do anything, as bosses everywhere like to say. So, set up a trust fund for your future relatives, and hope they're loyal to the family business. Or something like that.
3) A distant relative harvests your Calcite Gold with a small hammer and chisel, and a manic grin, they deserve it. This is, of course, if they don't have better things to do than study ancient history- like saving for their latest brain upgrade, for example.
I'm tempted to plant some in little upside down pots and call it my next big career move. I could take orders 134 000 years in advance, maybe even offer a payment plan with only 3% interest...Failing a business empire I might get given some medication and put on benefits to languish out a mediocre existence- but this would be deeply unsatisfying- as it's what the government seems to want me to do anyway; so I wouldn't even feel that happy little flush of triumph you get from kneeing the establishment in the groin.
So, probably I'd get some Epsom salts and a length of yarn for a rather more quick fix solution- possibly more akin to self-employment, but requiring resources such as Epsom salts which I don't actually have...Like I can't even afford a domain name right now! (Thank you Google Sites for my free website- joy!)
If you want to help me out of my little jobless hole, you could always buy one of my vintage books here at aforementioned free website, https://sites.google.com/site/ladyvanguardbooks/. This shall be my constant refrain, sorry, think of it as the chorus of my erm, can I call it a Social Commentary? :)
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